V.

Monday, November 10th, 1997.

Karen's angry at me. Because I'm helpful. Yes, you heard me. She's angry at me because I'm helpful.

Feeling bored, Sunday morning, I offered my mom to help her with the rest of the dead leaves. I kinda like it, and it gives me an excuse to make a fire outside, so really, it wasn't like it was a chore or anything. Later, at lunch, we're all sitting at the table and then my mother got up to put her plate in the dish-washer and she said to Karen "So, Lady K, what were you doing while Jenn here was helping out outside?", but she said it with a smile, joking-like, knowing full well that Karen was sleeping in because she stayed up late with Julie last night. So Karen made a face a face at me (knowing that mom couldn't see her) and said: "Some people have a life outside of this house, you know."

And then she left, taking the rest of her lunch with her, going to finish eating it in her room, I guess. Probably thinking that I planned it all to make her look bad. As if.

You just never win, you know? Whatever I do, someone ends up unhappy. God, it must be so cool to live alone, with no one to answer to, no one watching you and no one else's territory to thread on, just silence, and auto-determination. I'd still be miserable, but at least it would be my own private misery, and it wouldn't be aggravated by other people.

I guess that's why people finally end up in a stupid dead-end job that they despise: they just want money to be able to live on their own.

After that, I called Katie, she wasn't there, so I ended up going to the mall to see a movie, all by myself. First time I've done that. It was quite nice, actually.